Game 1 vs. Pit., L 6-4: Opening Day was a cold, dreary affair. It got colder after the ninth inning. The Cardinals went into the ninth with a 4-2 lead. New, rookie closer Jason Motte was noticeably amped to enter the game. He was sure to bring his renowned fastball, but forgot the location in Jupiter, Fla. He found that 95 mph fastballs left over the fat of the plate make for disastrous results. It was a disappointing start to the season.

Game 2 vs. Pit., W 9-3: The 40 Million Dollar Man Kyle Lohse pitched admirably, going seven innings and allowing two earned runs. It was Run the Bases Day in the Cardinals dugout and every starting position player reached base. Yadier "Deceptive Speed" Molina tripled somehow. A time warp wormhole may have been involved. Chris Duncan, Molina, and His Lordship Pujols each went daisy in the nine-run rout. This game also marked the big league debut of Colby Rasmus and the second base debut of Skip Schumaker.

Game 3 vs. Pit., L 7-4: Colonel Wellemeyer still needed to knock off the rust and the Pirates lineup obliged to the tune of 12 hits in five innings. Despite not pitching well, the Cards weren't really out of it by the time the Colonel left. It took a home run by Nate McClouth off Babyface Thompson to really put the game out of reach.

Game 4 vs. Pit., W 2-1: My favorite game of the week marked Chris Carpenter's return to the mound. The man was in '05 form and dragged a no hitter into the 7th inning. A couple fielding and throwing serrorss trials by His Lordship prematurely made the game 1-0 during Carpenter's no-hit run but DS Molina and Brian "not Barton" Barden contributed an RBI a piece to make sure the one-hit fame ended properly.

Game 5 vs. Hou., W 5-3: Okay, here's where we try a bit of the crow appetizer. Joel Pineiro pitched well against the Astros allowing eight hits, one walk, and two runs in 6.2 innings. He followed the Duncan Plan by throwing mostly sinkers for 14 ground outs. I haven't moved to the crow main course, but we are cautiously optimistic. The lineup managed to get three runs off the reanimated corpse of Mike Hampton and two more off the still medically dead Houston bullpen.

Game 6 vs. Hou., W 11-2: His Lordship felt what we know as pity for pitcher Adam Wainwright for how the season opener ended. To ensure he left the game a winner, He gifted the pitcher with a three-run homer and a grand slam. In related news, if anyone knows the whereabouts of Roy Oswalt, please contact his family. Jason Motte returned to the scene of the crime in the 6th inning. He allowed one hit with two K's to begin his return to normalcy.

Game 7 vs. Hou., W 3-0: Here, Lohse attempted his best Chris Carpenter impression. After allowing a hit the first batter, he retired the next 24. He went the distance with a few tense moments in the ninth. That's impressive, y'all. The Khalilbot went 3-4 with a run and an RBI.

Looking ahead, the Redbirds hit the road this week to face the Diamondbacks and the NL Central paper champions Chicago Cubs. While he won't say it, LaRussa would give up a rookie's right eye to go 5-2 again. And while Motte gave him an excuse to never play a pitcher under the age of 35, LaRussa needs to relize that Dennis Eckersley is not going to kick a watercooler through that door.Brian Kist is a writer in Southwest Missouri. He listens to punk music and enjoys Baseball. He tries to mash those to loves together at Punk On Deck.Newstex ID: CRIT-0006-34127384